Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Self Discovery

So some friends have told me that the reason I have a black cloud around me and/or attract the most horrendous characters could be one of many things:

(1) Some say you attract what you are. Stop the bus. I am not evil. Friends counteracted with the fact that is in fact true. Fargo is not evil, but I worked in law enforcement with evil suspects for years. Apparently, they feel I have bad energy attached to me from these days.

Well, fuck you, evil cloud.

I reject that theory. I do not believe that what happens in life to me is luck, supernatural, or malevolent. It doesn't mean I don't believe in that stuff. I am just not applying it to my circumstances.

(2) Some say I am a fixer and so my personality cannot help glob onto someone or something that needs to be fixed. No. I can't fix anything. I usually have to call someone to do that.


(3) I am predestined to be a martyr.

Fuck me in the ass. I reject this notion as well. I will not die, I am invincible! To the tower!

(4) Bad luck.

I'm not sure I believe in luck.

You're fired!

(5) Some experts call this a syndrome in a person's mind called, "external locus of control." It is a fatalism where people start believing they can do nothing to change their lives.

Well, hell! We all know I do not have this disease. Your locus of control isn't passed down genetically from generation to generation. Is it learned? If it doesn't work for us, can't we change it? I know this theory is false, so I super reject this idea! Next!

(6) So I went to the experts. GOOGLE. I googled my problems. I found this: "Remember whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind." (Lifehack)

Fuck me in the ass! 

All I pay attention to is serial killer shows and studying bad guys. 


Now I know what is wrong with me. 

To remedy this, I have started to watch reruns of Mr. Rogers and I am currently reading How To Build Grass Huts

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Fairy Farts and Vampire Slayers

My friends are trying to figure out why an entire tribe of weirdos are globbing on to me lately which have resulted in some strange encounters of the 5th Kind. They think I need to be saged. I can't say I disagree with them. Right now I am slathered in garlic, fairy dust, and crosses to deflect evil and crazy. I am not sure it is working.

Friday was a trying day of different sorts as I was called back to the Ta-Ta doctor for an additional mammogram and ultrasound. So they showed me the problem which was a huge mass in my left side. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach and tried to fight back tears. What a pussy. I don't know why it hit me hard. I was there for four hours. After talking to the doctor they determined I had hundreds of cysts on my left side which were all benign. None on my right. This was true evidence that I have been abducted by aliens since one side was perfectly healthy. My right elbow is bad. My left elbow is perfect. My neck is broken and my lungs are only 80%. My left rotator cuff is shot and my right is perfect. And my butt is too big.

Oh, yes, we can blame it all on aliens.

In the end, the Ta-Tas are OK, but I have been instructed to cut down on coffee consumption. You may as well have told me to cut my fingers off or put me in a guillotine. Really. It's that bad. "Try  cutting back to 2 cups a day first, " he said. WHAT?!?

That's like telling a crack addict to snort soap.

Say some prayers for me. The vampires are working against me. Those blood suckers.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

The Patch

Well, we all survived the second debate debacle. I think. My ears might still be ringing. 

I only remember one line and it was a doozy...

Otherwise, it was all interruptions and distractions and avoidance of any real issues. I shut it off and watched Hannibal. 

Have you seen that series? It's old. And I missed it when it was new, so it is new to me. It is right in line with the books for the most part, so I am pleased as punch. 

Oh..I am sure it will damage me forever. So gruesome and detailed and creepy and predictable and surprising and gross and fun and dangerous and well...you get the picture. The actor who plays the younger Hannibal Lecter is brilliant. 

I have to give a shout out to The Russian Bear for sending me this cute thing: 
shit magnet patch
It is a shit magnet patch. I wear it with pride! (Well, on my backpack) It works! You probably read my last posts of craziness but now the shit still rolls my way. How do I make it stop? For example...

In other news, I am without trainer. I have cut all ties with Obi and that went down like a ball of flames. I am mourning the loss of a friend. He is not dead. He just isn't who I thought he was and so I have lost a person I called friend and laughed with and what not. He also helped me on the house. So...even though we all have skeletons, I can't live with his bones in the closet. He is not happy about all this, but I have brushed past the emptiness. I have to thank him for some things he did for me in boosting my confidence and helping me get close to my goals. He was a good trainer. Harsh at it may seem, there is a time to cut bait. 

I have a wonderful hippy dippy trippy friend who is HUGE into astrology and readings and psychics (only valid ones she says and not the kookoo birds). She blesses me with these little messages from time to time. She seems to be thinking of me when eruptions happen or really good fortune will come my way. Usually when she is going to forewarn me about something explosive, it is already too late. So...my hippy dippy friend posted this on her Facebook page for me and sent me a personal IM:

Astrology for this week: Now leading up to this Full Super Moon in Aries! Action packed with this "Hunters Moon". Very powerful energy playing out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Some of you have found that you were wrong about something when you were so SURE at the time you were right. This does not matter either way and does not serve you to worry over it, or to look back at it or to dwell upon it. You have realized a lot of the actions and even disruptions from others. Believing in someone that proved to be false, or a detriment to you or your life, this was part of your growth and souls journey in this lifetime. But there are many other tasks and lessons before you. Trust yourself and the ingrained knowledge and intuition inside of you to lead you onto better paths and new and enlightening experiences. Distance yourself from those who cause you confusion, disruption and pain. You cannot change them, only they can change through their own realizations and free will, not from anything you can say or do. They have their own path to follow and their own lessons to learn. Sometimes things that hurt you the most, teach you the greatest lessons of life. You'll need to look at your life from a different perspective. Today's energy is all about letting go so you can let in the divine. 

And strangely enough, I have talked to God a lot more in the last two weeks, attended some church, and prayed.  We have a new minister and he is great. It's not like I ever ignored God, but there are times I let things overshadow my faith and I just muddle through life.  My Momster ways take over the turmoil of my daughter's teens and I get wrapped up in studying, driving forward, working out, and fixing what I can. I don't know if that makes any sense.  It sounded good at the time it was formulated in my head. 

Life is never too short or quick or too busy for God. I should know that by now. People come into our lives for a reason or we are there in theirs for the same. God puts us there. 

Sometimes, I think he just needs to plop me in front of the wine and bread and leave me there for days...without people. Just a thought.